May 1st was a few days ago. I was thinking it’s hard to believe that for some of you only a short 6 weeks ago you were at Preview Weekend or visiting college campuses. Where did the time go? Even more scary is in a little less than a month many of you will graduate, up to 2 months away will be college orientation. The July 1 deadline for sorority recommendations is looming up ahead and in a little over 3 moths is recruitment for many of you! If the past is any indication of how quickly time goes, in a blink of an eye August will be here before you know it!
Yes mommas..I hear you screaming “what about me???” Oh the stress of trying to organize grad parties, deal with senioritis, plan travel to and from orientation and what?????? The recommendations aren’t done???? We have how long until they are due?? Why won’t the alums answer our email???
My morning began at 6:12 am (I know the time exactly because as the first of many text messages came in I looked at the iphone and it was happy to digitally remind me of the time). The first was a text from a very sweet girl who was stressed about recommendations. It turns out she was missing 3 key recs for houses that she had become attached to. Now I would tell you that becoming attached to houses before ever going through recruitment can be not a good thing. I will also tell you that it happens A LOT!!!! As I mentioned yesterday the PNM’s get plyed with pre-recruitment parties, cards and letters. Even though they secretly know that these are not guarantees for bids the specialness of receiving them takes over and they are lulled into thinking that each sorority that sends these mailings or invites the PNM to a function “likes” them. Now don’t get me wrong…they do “like” the girl but they also “like” 500 other girls as well. We all know that with pledge classes of 85 to 100 girls at some schools that about 400 girls are not “liked” as much as others :/. Word to the wise…don’t focus on this fact.
Sorry…little swerve. So this sweet girl had connected with these houses and now panic had set in because she didn’t have recs for the two that she thought she had really connected with and LOVED. At the school she’s attending it is common knowledge that if you do not have a rec on file for a house that realistically you will be dropped. In very rare instances the sorority may reach out to an alum to write a rec but I repeat..”In very rare instances”.
So in my very calmest “I am now going to talk you off the ledge” voice I reminded this sweet girl that all was not lost and “Yes” I had a plan. In this case her college’s Panhellenic website had a link that would take you to each sorority’s profile. Listed on that link were the golden words “If you are having trouble securing a recommendation please email ********* @sorority.com.
Now I have preached and preached that this is a last resort but if you are on the ledge and considering jumping…it’s the last resort. Climb off the ledge and come back into the confines of your “happy place”. Go ahead and email the contact and I would suggest that you attach a copy of your resume and at least one picture. Simply explain that you have tried every single contact in the whole world and you are unable to secure a rec and so please, please, please won’t they take pity on your sweet soul and find someone to write a rec. Okay so don’t grovel or beg but you get the idea. You need to make sure that they understand that they are indeed the last resort.
In addition I suggested that she also reach out to the National office of each of the three sororities she was missing recs for. As stated in an earlier blog post, all national offices have lists of volunteers who are willing to write “blind recs” for girls who have tried every other option in the world but still cannot find a recommendation for their particular sorority. Again I told her to attach her resume and picture.
I know it’s not possible but I could actually feel her relax. The next text I received was much calmer. She had climbed off the ledge and embraced the plan in place. Crisis adverted . Woo Hoo!
Well that feeling of success and clam lasted all of about 30 minutes ….that’s when the next text came in. Different problem this time….but the same feeling. A poor mom was standing on the ledge….hysteria had set in….she needed to be talked off…with a plan. And so I again summoned my best “Now climb off the ledge voice” and talked her through her resume crisis.
Whew!!! Now two for two it wasn’t 5 minutes later when not one but three emails arrived. Is it a full moon???? Why the hysteria especially today??? Ah ha!!!! It hit me……it was the first week of May. The wake up call had arrived and all of a sudden time or lack there of, had become a reality. Panic had set in and women and PNM’s all over climbing on the ledge.
Don’t!!!!! Climb off the ledge. Make a plan. Call or email me :)…or who ever you are using to help you get to the finish line of recruitment. There’s still lots of time….even for those of you who haven’t even started yet. You can and will get this done…just climb off the ledge.