Since I am on vacation and not able to post complete blogs I thought I would continue with Recruitment stories.  Today’s story has a “Mean Girls” theme.  the young woman who wrote it went into recruitment with preconceived ideas about the sororities on her campus.  She now professes that since she is on “the other side” that she regrets those impressions of the sororities that she brought with her at the beginning of recruitment. Luckily she was able to refocus and after the first days of recruitment she began to see that every sorority had good qualities that made them desirable.

Here is her story: Here’s my absolutely horrible Janice Ian lunchroom breakdown of the 8 houses from a preconceived notions I made before recruitment.

Regina

3 WORDS: PRETTY, RICH, FAKE

This house was the one that came to mind when I thought of recruitment, because it was the only house where I really knew girls. From what i had heard, they were the most “cookie cutter” sorority on campus– beautiful, rich, and seemingly popular but could be very stuck up. I was also told that they recruited heavily based on looks, and that made me a little uncomfortable. However, the handful of girls I knew had all seemed fun and outgoing, and I felt like they were thought of as one of the best houses on campus–a lot of girls were excited about going there. I also liked all the things about them that I shouldn’t have been too concerned about–their colors, their symbol, etc.

Janice

3 WORDS: AWKWARD, UNATTRACTIVE, UPTIGHT

I wasn’t really enthused about this house. I knew a girl from my high school that was in a chapter at a different school, and she was gorgeous but extremely mean. Also, on my campus they were thought of as the worst house. However, I thought it seemed like their reputation was based on catty things, and I wanted to see for myself.

Karen

3 WORDS: WILD/PROMISCUOUS, CATTY, PRETTY

I knew one girl from this house, and she was really nice. I had heard from a number of people that these girls used to have an “easy” reputation and were turning their image around, but supposedly they didn’t have a strong sisterhood and were seen drunkenly fighting in public frequently. That freaked me out a bit, but I figured that could just be rumors and I wanted to know more.

Damien

3 WORDS: OFF THE RADAR

Honestly I couldn’t find out very much about this house. People didn’t really talk about it much, I didn’t see many people wearing their letters, I didn’t hear of a good or bad reputation. The girls were decent-looking, somewhat involved, and relatively nice. I didn’t know much at all.

Cady

3 WORDS: DIVERSE, SWEET, FUN

This house was pretty new to campus–it had only been colonized a few years back, so it seemed like they didn’t really have a stereotype yet, but nobody really had anything negative to say about them except that they were new. All I kept hearing about them was that they were making a big impression, but I didn’t know if it was good or bad. I was interested to find out more about this house, but I wasn’t sure if I would like the fact that they didn’t have a strong “tradition” on our campus. I was really intrigued by this house, and a lot of people were excited to go there.

GRETCHEN

3 WORDS: HIGH-ACHIEVING, INVOLVED, NICE

A lot of people made the argument that this house was the best on campus–it had a long history there, they had popular philanthropy events, and their sisters were the leaders of many major organizations. I really hoped that I fit into this house based on what I had heard from others!

Aaron

3 WORDS: CHILL, FUN, GOOFY

This house was kind of the oddball of recruitment–there were all kinds of mixed feelings about it. It was a small chapter with the reputation of being a party house–the girls didn’t really seem to care too much about anything. They were always in trouble with panhellenic for not following various rules, but they seemed to be really laid-back, always having a good time, had a pretty strong sisterhood, and fraternity guys treated most of them like “one of the bros.” I wasn’t sure how I felt about this house, but I was interested to meet them.

Kevin G

3 WORDS: NEW, NEW, NEW

This house was brand-new on my campus, and they would only be a part of formal recruitment for one round. We were told that we should keep this option in mind, but it was encouraged that we continue with formal recruitment and if we still felt strongly about that house we could drop formal recruitment at the end and go through their informal recruitment at a later time. Considering that, I didn’t really give this house much thought at first.

Now here’s her “ah ha” moment:  To follow up these pre-conceived notions I had about the houses, I want to honestly say that trying to go into recruitment with ideas in my head was the stupidest thing. After being involved with Greek life, it is easy to see that all of the sororities on my campus have great things to offer and are great in different ways, and DO NOT fit those stereotypes. There are people in every house that could fit each reputation I originally had in my head, and outside perspective of a house isn’t nearly as important as the bonds between the sisters within them. Luckily I realized that part pretty soon after recruitment started and I went through with a really open mind. I felt bad for being at all worried about “reputation” when that’s not normally me at all, and I would encourage future PNMs to be open-minded as well. I know it can be hard when there’s opinions being thrown at you from all sides, but none of that temporary catty stuff really matters when you’re choosing a sisterhood you want to be a part of for life.

My school had 3 recruitment rounds (Philanthropy, Tours, Pref), and the first round was split into two days (4 one day, 4 the next), then you narrowed round two down to 5 houses, and pref was 2 houses.

I was disappointed to realize that the first round of recruitment interfered with one of my classes, and my Rho Chi informed me that I would have to miss two parties. The parties I was missing were Karen and Damien, and although I was glad that neither of those were among my my preconceived “favorites,” I was disappointed to have to miss any opportunities. Also, since I would be missing the first two parties, I felt like I would seem awkward in comparison to the other rushees in my group that would have been to parties already by the time I got there. But my first house was Cady, and I was really excited about that one. I nervously took my place in the alphabetically ordered line when I finally arrived, and tried to get any information I could from the other girls in my group about how the parties worked. I was confused and overwhelmed when it was time to make our way inside, but I was so excited!

Round 1 Philanthropy:

Cady

Being my first house, I had no idea what to expect. A really pretty sweet girl met me at the door and led me to the chapter room, and I remember thinking the house was decorated beautifully but set up a little strangely. I was pretty nervous, because I was the only one there who hadn’t done this before, but I immediately began to feel comfortable. I ended up talking to 4 or 5 different girls, and they were all so nice and cute–some I connected with more than others, especially a friendly junior with whom I shared a lot of similar interests. They were all so enthusiastic about their philanthropy, but not creepily over-eager, and I connected with the cause on a personal level, so that was cool. Overall I felt comfortable there, and left smiling. However, I didn’t have anything to compare it to yet, so I wasn’t sure if I was just excited to finally be experiencing recruitment.

Kevin G

This was only other house that I visited the first day, and it was an informal presentation/social with members from other chapters of the organization. The organization sounded really cool, and I didn’t totally rule it out, because being a charter member of a group would be an interesting experience. However, I wasn’t sure I wanted to join a group that wasn’t established on campus yet.

Round 1: Philanthropy (Part 2)

The next day, I was told I would be visiting Aaron Janice Regina and Gretchen. I was especially excited for the last two, and ended up with the following notes:

Aaron

I had a mixed experience here. I went in pretty excited, and the first girl I talked to was extremely nervous, but funny and kept conversation going. She accidentally started talking about partying, though, and then she got really awkward and quiet after that like she didn’t want to say the wrong thing. Someone came over to transition with her and she got really flustered because the partying comment was the last thing she’d said, so she didn’t know what to tell them we talked about. The rest of the conversations went okay, but no great connection, and they had more rushees than rushers so the PNM I was paired with kept talking over me. I left feeling pretty disappointed.

Janice

This house was much better than I expected. They were a big part of what made me forget about the silly stereotypes that I had heard from other PNMs/upperclassmen. Everyone I talked to was very sweet and genuine, and I felt bad that other people judged them poorly based on superficial things. I had great and meaningful conversations, and left feeling happy.

Regina

This was the house I had been really looking forward to. Their house was gorgeous on the outside and inside, and all the girls were so polished and pretty. I didn’t like that the party was very loud and I felt like I had to shout at the girls, and they kneeled in front of us while we sat which I found awkward. The girls I talked to used a similar high-pitched voice/laugh, and they didn’t tell me anything at all about their philanthropy. But I had awesome, flowing conversations with all 3 of the girls I talked to there, and they seemed so confident! I left feeling like I had found a favorite so far.

Gretchen

I don’t even remember much about this party because I was so tired by the time I got there, but nothing stood out in my mind. Their house was ok. Their philanthropy didn’t really strike a chord with me, although they did seem passionate about it which I liked. All 4 of the sisters I talked to were very nice from what I remember, and I was excited about a particular connection I shared with one of them. But something just didn’t click for me. I couldn’t put my finger on it at all, and I had been really looking forward to meeting these girls, so I thought maybe it was just everyone being tired that caused a negative experience.

 

When it came time to rank my choices, I decided I wanted to at least list the houses I missed in my top 5 so that I could have a chance to go there if they extended an invitation. My rankings were, in order:

Regina

Cady

Janice

Karen

Damien

__________________

Gretchen

Aaron

I wanted to give Gretchen another chance, but I more so wanted to have the possibility of seeing the two houses I missed in round 1 so I would know I explored all my options. I was so anxious to know where I would be invited back to for round 2!

Round 2: Tours

The next day my Rho Chi told me which houses had invited me back:

Janice

Aaron

Cady

Regina

Gretchen

I was so relieved to see Regina and Cady in particular, because those had been my two favorites. I was a little disappointed neither Karen or Damien gave me a chance, but with so many girls going through rush it was completely understandable that they didn’t waste an invite on someone they never met. I met up with my friend in my Rho Chi group, and she was disappointed to have been cut from Cady which had been her favorite. She was excited to go back to Aaron and Regina, though, and my roommate was happy to be going back to Cady and Regina as well. I was hoping that we would all like Regina since that was the one we still had in common.

Regina

I was happy to be headed here first, and the full tour of the house was not a disappointment. It was gorgeous and huge, and I was mesmerized by the adorable decor. The girls I talked to that day were both bubbly, and kept conversation going. A few of the older girls seemed very disinterested, though, and when I finally saw one of the girls who encouraged me to rush the year before, she gave me a kind of fake, brief greeting and pronounced my name wrong. I was a little stunned, but the other girls I talked with were very friendly. I had been told that sometimes older sorority members in particular get sick of the long recruitment days, so I tried to chalk it up to it being early and them having stayed up late voting. I didn’t want to seem over-eager, so I tried to hold back from gushing about the house or my excitement to be there, and I left feeling like I really could be a Regina. I was head over heels.

Aaron

I really enjoyed the atmosphere in the house during this round, and I felt it reflected the sisterhood well, but I just didn’t click with anyone. I was paired with another PNM once again, and she was really excited about this house. Since didn’t really feel a connection with anyone there, I let her take the lead in conversation. I didn’t dislike the house, but I didn’t make a huge effort–I could just feel it wasn’t right for me.

Cady

I was excited to be back at this house, because the first day had turned into a blur after all the other parties I’d been to, and I wanted to see if I still felt a connection here. I was happy to find that I did! Everyone was down to earth and genuine. I had one awkward conversation, but the girl was really nice. I was extremely happy that the girl I connected with the most on the first day stopped by to give me a hug and chat for a minute, even though I wasn’t in her rotation. It made me feel good that she remembered me and made a point to say hi. The girls were as diverse as I’d been told, but seemed to have a solid sisterhood. Things weren’t quite as structured here as they were at other places, but I figured it was because they were still pretty new, and I liked that things felt laid-back. I thought I could see myself there.

Gretchen

This house was really disappointing to me. I felt bad, because once again I have no idea why I didn’t feel a connection there–everyone was sweet and welcoming, and all of the information about their accomplishments and sisterhood and functions was impressive… but I just knew this was not the place for me, and would be low on my list.

Janice

I wasn’t as impressed with this house in the 2nd round as I was in the 1st. The girls were so sweet and genuine once again, but the girl I spent most of my time with did not know what to say to me. She was really trying but there would be huge long gaps in conversation where it seemed she was searching for something rehearsed to say. I felt bad because she really made an effort, but it made for an overall awkward experience. I still liked the house, but I knew it wouldn’t make my top two when I had to rank again.

I submitted my rankings that night feeling pretty confident–Regina and Cady were my clear choices for pref round–but for some reason I could not get Regina out of my head–their house and polished image had made an impact on me. I knew I would be happy at either of those two houses, but something about Regina had me mesmerized. I submitted my rankings:

Regina

Cady

____________________

Janice

Aaron

Gretchen

Preference:

I was invited back to Regina and Cady and I was thrilled!!!  Both parties were very emotional but I had been attached to Regina all week and things just didn’t change fro Preference.  I went back and ranked my two houses with Regina first and Cady second.   I then second guessed my self the whole night.  What if I really had just not given Cady the attention they deserved.

By the time we received our bids the next day I had convinced myself that I had listed the house wrong and that I should have put Cady first.  I ripped open my envelope and guess what?  My bid card said Regina.  With a huge smile on my face I knew in my heart this is where I belonged as a sister of Delta Delta Delta!!!

 

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