Recruitment has begun.Yesterday the first bids were given out at Oklahoma State.  Alabama began First Round Ice Water Tea parties yesterday with yet again the largest recruitment in the United States. At Convocation on Saturday night 1986 PNMs heard about Rho Chi Groups, maximizing your options and party schedules. When the sun rose and the PNMs assembled the next morning the number was 1957. Still, a record-breaking group went from house to house, embracing the experience called “recruitment.”

At the end of an exhausting day my cell phone went crazy with call, text messages and emails.  So many questions!!!  So, although I answered each and every one of them until very late into the night I thought I would post some of the questions, plus answers here for those of you who might be “wondering” but haven’t reached out to me for “the answers.”

1. If I wear the wrong dress will I be “cut” from a house?

No!  I am not sure what the “wrong dress” is but in this case this young woman was referring to a designer label.Sororities do not base invitations on what “label” you are wearing.  However they will make decisions on how “put together” you look.  If you come in with your hair a mess, no make up and a dress with spots, chances are you will probably not be invited back.

2.  I only talked to 2 girls at one house but when my roommate visited she talked to 5 girls. Does that mean they didn’t like me?

Most likely this wasn’t intentional.  The better answer is that some thing went wrong with their bumping process. When girls are bumping and talking to PNMs they are not going to call off the rest of the bump group because the PNM is a dud.

3. I had the most amazing conversation at a house where they told me they knew the person who wrote my recommendation.  Does that mean I am one of their “tops” and will be invited back.

Nothing is guaranteed.  Since you  had such a strong recommendation chances are that the sorority was “checking you out” to see if you were really all that the paper said.  From my experience I would think you have a pretty good chance to be invited back to the next round of parties but beyond that is really up to you.  As I have said before, recommendations are great for getting you noticed at the First Round parties but as the week goes on they hold less and less weight.

4. I brought a black dress to wear to Preference but I’ve heard that you shouldn’t wear black or white!  I don’t have time to buy a new dress between parties what do I do?

Wear the dress you brought.  Many sororities will wear black or white dresses for Pref.  Some will tell PNMs to wear another color but I tell girls to wear a dress that makes you feel confident.  Truthfully no sorority is going to put you at the bottom of their list because of the color of your dress.  I also tell girls to bring two dress choices for every party.  In the case of Preference if you have a great “little black dress” then bring it plus another dress that is a different color.

5. When I visited my “legacy” house I was introduced to the President.  Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Legacies are given a courtesy invitation back to Round Two parties.  Most likely the sorority is trying to decide if your relationship will continue past that invite.  Most sororities will try to release legacies who they feel there is not a connection with early on in the process.  Remember legacy sororities are not obligated to bid you unless you attend their preference party.

6.  What happens if I am not invited to the maximum amount of Round Two parties?

First of all I know that it’s disappointing not to be invited back to the maximum amount of parties, especially if your roommate or your friend in your Rho Chi group has a full party schedule.  As I always say focus on what lies ahead not on what happened in the past.  What this means is that you will have more “breaks” in your schedule. Look at it this way, you will have a chance to relax and be more refreshed for the parties you do have invitations to attend.

7.  While attending a party I was introduced to the house mom, is that normal?

I would say it’s not abnormal.  If the house mom was in the area, the sorority member was probably being polite.  If the conversation was lagging perhaps the member was looking for something to fill the time.

8.  I just finished day 1 of First Round parties and I felt no connection with a particular house.  The conversation was awkward and forced.  Should I list this house in my bottom houses?

Before you automatically decide that this house is not for you see what happens during day 2 of First Round parties. Also remember that just because you do not make a connection with one girl doesn’t mean that you won’t connect with another member.  I always tell girls to give each house a second chance for exactly this reason.

9.  So how do I decide what houses to put in my bottom list?

Hopefully you are taking notes as you visit each house. In some cases girls may visit upwards of 17 houses in 2 days and although they think they will remember each and every house, many PNMs admit that after day 1 it’s all a blur.  So take notes. When you are ready to rank you will list first those houses that you felt you had a strong connection with.  As you go farther down the list the connections will be less. ALWAYS list all of your houses..even the ones you don’t like.  Those bottom houses may come back up into your party schedule..be prepared.

10. Panhellenic sent me a letter that said if I attend every party I am invited to through Preference that I am guaranteed a bid..is that true?

With RFM the goal is to place the maximum amount of girls possible.  So yes if you list every house each time you rank and you attend every party you are invited to you most likely will get a bid.  This does not mean you will get a bid to the house you rank first, often times it is the third choice house.   Let me explain.  If a PNM goes to three Preference parties but she is on the third list for each of the sororities there is a pretty good chance that each house will fill their Bid List before they get to this PNM.  However she will be available for quota additions and one of her three sororities will add her to their bid list.

So 10 really great  questions with more coming in all the time!  Keep ’em coming!  I will answer 10 more tomorrow.  Good luck to all the ladies who are experiencing this amazing process.  Sending you all a big virtual hug!!!!

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