I have some exciting news!!!!! Sorority Girl 101 has been working hard at putting together a recruitment manual that should be ready by the end of September and available here….at sororitygirl101.com. It’s full of the best of the best..tips, how to do a rec packet, what a GREAT sorority resume looks like and much, much more! I hope you are as excited as I am!! So look for it at the end of September…as we get closer I will update you on the exact date :).
For many of you recruitment is a memory. It’s amazing the preparation that goes into one week of incredible stress, excitement and a ton of emotions! This time last year I started working with 6 amazing young women who were preparing to go through one of the most competitive recruitments in the United States. We became friends and I was lucky enough to be there with them on Bid Day when each one received a bid to their first choice house.
In addition I have helped (and still am) over 150 girls go through different recruitments across the US. I think I will be sad when this season is over but I have already been contacted by several girls and their mothers for help for Recruitment 2013. Please pass on this blog to anyone who is going through recruitment. Encourage them to reach out if they have questions or concerns..I am more than happy to help :).
I wish I could say that everyone always gets their first choice in sororities, but unfortunately that is not always the case. The past few days I have had several mothers and daughters contact me because they haven’t fulfilled their “happily ever-after”. I always feel sad when this happens. These poor girls go through an unbelievably emotional week only to be standing on a lawn that they don’t want to be at….what to do?
First of all there’s no going back….only charging full steam ahead. My suggestion always is to shelve the preconceived ideas, opinions and gossip. It’s now time for you to REALLY look at the girls who are now your sisters. If you carried this house all week and you preffed three houses (and this was one of them) then you had to have had some sort of connection…so why is it that as you stand on the lawn and look at the girls they seem you feel you have NOTHING in common? Remember you are coming off an emotional charged week of little sleep and a lot of smiling and conversations. Conversations that at times were superficial and at others felt like you were sitting in a sales meeting where the sorority woman was pitching the idea of why you should go her house. You get caught up in the moment…it all sounds so good :).
And here’s the truth..it is good! Really…it is good. So give it a chance…jump in with both feet. If you feel that you don’t have a connection with the girls in your pledge class then seek out the active members you spoke with during the week. GET INVOLVED!!!! I guarantee that the active members will help you to form connection with girls in your pledge class who you have common interests with. If the first active member doesn’t seem to want to hang out..find a second. Reach out to your Bid Day Buddy and if all else fails sit down with the President or the New Member Coordinator and tell them how you are feeling. If this house was your first choice and you received a bid then YOU were their FIRST CHOICE as well. They WANT you!!! They want you to be happy and to be involved and most importantly they want you to be their sister.
So what if you don’t get your first choice? What happens next? After the initial shock of opening the bid card only to find that instead of sorority abc you got sorority efg wears off, you owe it to yourself and to the girls of that house to give it a try (and I don’t mean for an hour or a day). Again..shelve the preconceived notions…..if you go in with a negative attitude neither you nor the sorority has a fighting chance. I know…if you are reading this and are in this situation you are saying to yourself..”it’s easy for her..she’s not in my situation…she didn’t feel my disappointment” and you’re right…it didn’t happen to me but I have talked with so many girls on both sides of the fence and the message I have taken from them is the same…give it a try. 99% of the time girls get their “happily ever-after”! they really do. Many tell me that they have gone on to be involved and very active members. I always ask if they look back with regret and wish that they had gotten their first choice and they have all said “no”. To this day they are glad that they are a sister in their sorority…have had nothing but positive experiences and are building amazing memories. So put the “what ifs” and “why nots” behind you and jump on board :).
MOMS……I know that it is EXTREMELY difficult to be the mother of a girl who is sad, mad, frustrated, unhappy, disappointed about the outcome of her recruitment experience. This is especially difficult is you live far away and can’t get to your daughter to console her. Being on the end of a phone, skype, text or email conversation where your child is upset isn’t fun…been there done that! After Round two parties, where my daughter had visited the maximum amount of houses, we were not expecting her to get the cut she did. Instead of being invited back to the 7 houses possible she was only invited back to 4. Needless to say my child was hysterical! We had fallen victim to the “It’s won’t happen to me ” way of thinking. I had to reach deep to find my inner calm but I did and that made all the difference. I embraced the houses she had left, pointing out positive aspects about each one (even though there was one that I had “heard” things about). I encouraged her to keep and open mind and yes…I let her mourn the loss of her “it” house (I gave her 30 minutes of boo hoo hooing in the shower). the message I am trying to give you is this…your daughter will listen to you (even if she doesn’t at home). If you are lamenting that she didn’t get the “right” house then she is not going to be able to move in. Seriously….if you look at every campus across the United States there really aren’t any “bad” sororities. Yes…there might be some that carry a more prestigious reputation or some that might be known for one type of girl or another but you as a mother/parent owe it to your daughter to be supportive of the option now in front of her. Embrace the challenge! I think you will be surprised at what you will learn about her new home as well.
What happens if your daughter wants to quit? Here’s my thoughts….since your daughter signed her bid card she cannot go through recruitment again for 1 calendar year. That means that she can’t go through Spring COB. Since she has a year-long commitment why not give it a try? What has she got to lose?? I would encourage her to try it until initiation…if at that point she still feels a disconnect then let her quit. You will have paid your semester sorority bill any way…what has she got to lose?
So if you are experiencing one of the situations above take heart..you are not alone. there are others out there in your same situation. Make a vow..start today! Repeat after me..”I am a sister in the house of (you fill in the blank) and I am proud of it.” Now today’s challenge..go out and make 2 new sister friends….you can do this! I know you can :)….