Pep talks are amazing things and everyone needs one now and again. It’s that being honest with yourself about who you are and even more so about the God-given gifts and talents that make you the fantastic person that you.
I have been reading a lot of resumes lately and there is a common denominator in all of them…the PNMs all have a tough time bragging on themselves. Sororities are scouring those resumes and recommendations looking to luck those girls who bring a number of things to the table. Ladies…you need to brag on you. If you don’t write it down the have no way of knowing!
I think the best way to build the best resume ever is to sit down and have a little pep talk with yourself. Look in the mirror….what great things do you see? Write them down! Use those beautiful qualities as the cornerstones of your resume.
Now flash forward to formal recruitment. To be brutally hones going through recruitment at one of the “competitive” campuses can be very hard on one’s self esteem. You did everything right. You got recs for all the houses. You had great pics of yourself. You have put together fantastic outfits to wear each day. You visited each house that participated in formal recruitment. You smiled. You had great conversations, okay conversations and not so great conversations. At the end of the day you had a list of houses you LOVED, a list of houses you liked and a list of houses that you didn’t like (at all!!!).
As you list your “top” houses you can’t help but smile, remembering the members you met and spoke with. As you listed your “bottom” houses you silently prayed that they would not show up on your party schedule again. And then you walk back to your dorm to worry and wonder what the next party card will hold.
The next day dawns bright and early. It’s understandable that you would be nervous about what this day holds. Now is the time for a “pep talk”. It’s time to tell yourself that Round One parties are over. You can’t go back and do things differently. It is what it is. Remind yourself that the houses that are inviting you back to Round Two parties did this because they saw something in you that made them think that you cold possibly be a apart of their sisterhood. They want to get the opportunity to get to know you better. No one forced them to offer you an invitation. They chose you because they wanted to.
Now I understand …..I really do that when you get your party card and the house that you, personally love is absent from the list there is going to be some hurt feelings. there might be confusion and bewilderment. As you reply the party in your mind it seemed like you had made connections with the girls you spoke with. In fact the conversations were fun. So what went wrong? Why don’t they want you?
Time for “pep talk” number two. Ladies it’s not that they didn’t want you…..they just wanted someone more. I know that’s hard to hear but in some cases, with over 1700 girls going through recruitment there are going to be many girls who “think” they have made connections in various houses. Most likely you were on the list….there were just others who were in front of you and they filled their invite list before they got to you name. I’ve been there when they read the list out for parties. I’ve seen members cry because the girl they talked to and liked didn’t get invited back. Know that there are members who are just as sad as you!
Time to really look at your party card and the opportunities it holds. Picture in your mind the smiles on the faces of the members as they find out that YOU are coming back today. I know that this is easier said than done but you have to approach recruitment this way. The girls who don’t are the girls who do not have a successful recruitment. They drop out, bitter, mad and frustrated.
I know what you are thinking…what about the house you put last on your bottom list? What is that house has reared its ugly head (your words not mine) on your party list. I will tell you exactly what to do. You put on your big girl pants and you give them a second chance. Throw away all of the opinions and perceptions from the day before and start a new. Many of you will be pleasantly surprised to find that the “yuck” house is not nearly as yucky as you thought.
If you practice the pep talk theory during recruitment I promise you that you will have a more enjoyable time!
One final thought for today. I had a mom ask me to address the issue of multiples (twins/triplets) going through recruitment. As her daughters went through recruitment at a very competitive school the y each had full party lists, with different houses, for each round. when it dot to Preference they each only had one invite and it was to the same house! Yes…on many campuses multiples can and are viewed as a set. It’s the mindset of the sorority to “think” that if one sister likes a particular house that the other…being a twin or triplet would also like the same house. So when membership discussion ensues if a sorority has an opinion that one of the multiples may not choose their house they will cut her. Is it fair …nope. Does it happen…yes it does! One of my daughters’ sorority has had several sets of twins. So just know that it’s okay during conversations to say something to the effect that even if we look /act alike we have totally different likes and wants as far as choosing a sisterhod goes.