So it’s that time of year. RECRUITMENT!!!!! It has begun. Bid Day at Oklahoma State today. Looks like they had a good week :). Pref at UGA today and I have already heard of some disappointments. Several girls I know were only invited back to 2 houses for Preference. I have also had one tearful text from a very sweet (yet extremely shy) girl who received “the call” and has been released. We have since phone chatted and she is open to trying in the Spring if here is COB and perhaps regrouping and trying again next year. This young woman did not have recs for all of the house..that coupled her shyness didn’t help.
Today Mizzou starts with convocation..good luck to all of the girls there. Huge amount of pnms ….close to 1800 or a little over that this point. I know there has been a lot of discussion about whether you need recs at Mizzou. Since they have joined the SEC (last year) the process has taken on the SEC mindset of “competitiveness”. I have always said a rec can’t hurt you it can only help and this is true at Mizzou. Remember that a rec puts you on the radar. It lets a sorority know what you can bring to their table. With recruitment numbers soaring it just makes sense to do EVERYTHING you can to promote yourself. Of course at this point it’s too late for this year. Fingers crossed for many of the girls I know that are going through. I know several that don’t have recs…will be interesting to see how it goes for them. I actually offered to write a rec and help a particular PNM and was flatly turned down…she said she didn’t need it..hmmmmm we will see how things turnout for her.
And then there is Alabama. What can I say? Yesterday was Day 1…Ice Water Teas. I had received lots of contact from Bama sororities during the week while they were doing pre-rates. Many of them know I have a lot of contact with girls and so they were calling about resumes.
My phone went NUTS yesterday!!! So many questions! I have never had as many texts from PNMS who were in between parties or on break as I did yesterday. That has prompted me to put my school work aside and blog. I have a few thoughts and suggestions :).
First of all…be open to each and every house. That goes not only for Bama but for every other campus across the US. You will hear talk and more talk and EVEN MORE talk. Stick your fingers in your ears..go la la la and listen to your heart. That’s it!!!! The tent talk seems to already be running rampant at Bama. Truth is all of the houses on campus are great.
- Don’t eliminate a house just because a member of your Rho chi group, your roommate, or someone you just met tells you that they heard (or know) that house XYZ won’t have swaps because fraternities say they are the fat, ugly, gross, stupid, (you pick the adjective) sorority.
- Yes..Old Row Fraternities DO swap with New Row sororities.
- Each sorority does membership selection differently. Don’t listen to the rumors of how it’s done. A ton of work has been done prior to recruitment to familiarize members with incoming pnms.
- Don’t focus on being cut from a house or released from recruitment, you will drive yourself insane.
- Mommas…..there’s momma tent talk as well. Don’t listen to it. There are quite a few others out there who “think” they know all there is to know about recruitment (at any campus). They are more than willing to share all of this info with how ever will listen :). Word of advice…in one ear and out the other. They also think their precious daughter is so special, has the perfect recs and will have the perfect recruitment. Well..in some cases this will be true but in others these ladies (and their daughters) are in for a rude awakening. Don’t be sucked into this black hole. Just as I have counseled your daughters…keep and open mind and heart.
In fact I think this process is harder on us as parents than our girls. We don’t want to see them hurt and the lack of control we have over the recruitment process can be pretty frustrating. Remember..if you daughter is not invited back to one of her “favorites” it’s not personal..to you or to her. They haven’t sat on the floor and bashed her clothing choices, hair style, sandals, height or weight. What they have done is looked at the conversations she has had with members and have evaluated whether she feel comfortable as a member. I know..they aren’t inside her head..how do they know? They know the composite and make up of their chapter. They know what things their chapter is active in. While a pnm may do a great job of convincing herself that she really would like to be involved in XYZ the truth is when it comes time to start juggling sorority life and school and then outside activities unless a pnm is passionate about certain activities it just isn’t going to happen.
As far as grades go. Most of the girls who will not be invited back after Ice Water Teas are those girl whose GPA falls below the 3.0 criteria set by Panhellenic. It’s no secret that panhellenic has told the houses that girls with a GPA below a 3.0 should be not invited back to Round 2. YES….there are some houses who will invite girls back that have GPAs that fall BELOW that magic line. NO..if you are invited back and you have a lower GPA it does not mean that you have survived the magic GPA cuts. What it does mean is that they like you enough to want to get to know you better. Now is your time to shine :). Know that as they continue to evaluate girls and you are compared to another girl for that slot it could be that they will once again look at your GPA. Make yourself memorable. By doing this you might be able to shove the GPA issue to the back burner.
Tonight at Bama is the first time pnms will rank houses. There are Tons of theories on this. Do you list your top houses first, add a safety house and a reach? Do you rank a house that you realistically really don’t feel you have a chance at but you love? Here;s my advice…follow your heart but be sensible. Keep an open mind. Write down all of the houses!!!! If you have a house you really don’t like put it at the bottom of your bottom 4. But remember….those bottom 4 houses can come back up into your top 12 if some of those houses do not invite you back. When you get your list tomorrow….it’s okay to mourn your losses for a few minutes. Then..it’s time to put the pity party aside and embrace those houses who are on your list. remember they wanted YOU back. They are looking forward to getting to know YOU better. You need to reciprocate…give them a chance ..get to know them better :).
Finally….as the process gets going it’s okay to let houses know that you like them. It’s not okay to gush all over them and tell them that they are your top house, your only house ect. In return it’s not okay for sororities to say things like they can see you there on Bid Day or as a little. It’s not a sure deal until you open up that Bid Card…period. Most sororities won’t say those things..they are not supposed to but in the heat of a moment when a member has a rush crush on a pnm she might just slip and say some things she’s not supposed to . Remember one girl cannot pull in a pnm..it’s takes a chapter. Things happen..that’s all I will say and promises should not be made. I also wanted to share that members are not supposed to touch pnms. This always gets asked as we get closer to pref. Pnms form bonds with members and at pref, when things get emotional sometimes they want to hug. The members can’t. don’t take it personally. don’t take it as a sign that they aren’t going to bid you…they can’t period. Oh..this rule does not apparently apply to one particular sorority at UT Austin where certain pnms are chosen to be carried out the door….just saying.
Oh and one last thing. IF you know girls in sororities on campus don’t be upset or unhappy if they don’t pick you up at the door and spend time talking with you. Truth is they know you but their sisters do not. They WANT you to get to know other members of their house so that they can see how amazing you are. Again…it’s not personal. Everything has a reason.
Recruitment at these very competitive campuses are well oiled machines. Members have been practicing since last winter for this week. In many cases they have been on campus a week earlier than pnms practicing up to 12 hours a day for recruitment. Just like pnms hey aren’t getting a lot of sleep, experiencing stress and want the best outcome possible. Good luck ladies…sending big hugs and lots of prayers!!